


just guys being dudes

by hyuckieluv



Category: BLACKPINK (Band), SEVENTEEN (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anime References, Attempt at Humor, Author Is Sleep Deprived, BTS are added later, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Bad Puns, Blackpink are only mentioned sometimes, But umbrella terms am I right, Dirty Jokes, Diva Boo Seungkwan, Dorks in Love, Everyone Is Gay, First chapters are just svt, Fluff, Haikyuu is mentioned, Implied Sexual Content, Jeonghan is a devil, Jeonghan works in a flower shop, Memes, Multi, So is Jisoo, This Is STUPID, Tumblr Memes, Well some are bi, chat fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-07-19
Packaged: 2019-05-10 10:56:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14735657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyuckieluv/pseuds/hyuckieluv
Summary: Friday, 6:33pm.VernonChwe has created a groupchatVernonChwe has named the groupchat just guys being dudesVernonChwe added ChoiSeungcheol, JoshuaHong, YoonJeonghan, LeeJihoon, WenJunhui, XuMinghao, LeeSeokmin, JeonWonwoo and 5 others to the chat.





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this whilst sick to try and cheer myself up so I'm sorry if it's terrible but it made me laugh so whatever why not share it with the internet. Also the first chapter is rlllllly short I know but it's just like an introduction to the fic I guess.

_**Friday, 6:33pm.** _

_**VernonChwe has created a groupchat** _

_**VernonChwe has named the groupchat just guys being dudes** _

_**VernonChwe added ChoiSeungcheol, JoshuaHong, YoonJeonghan, LeeJihoon, WenJunhui, XuMinghao, LeeSeokmin, JeonWonwoo and 5 others to the chat.** _

_**VernonChwe set his own nickname to memesol** _  
_**memesol set YoonJeonghan’s nickname to angel mom**_  
_**memesol set ChoiSeungcheol’s nickname to daddycoups**_  
_**memesol set JoshuaHong’s nickname to jisoos christ**_  
_**memesol set JeonWonwoo’s nickname to wonton**_  
_**Memesol set KimMingyu’s nickname to tree**_  
_**memesol set LeeSeokmin’s nickname to suckmin**_

_**LeeJihoon has set his own nickname to fuckyouhansol** _

**memesol** : really,,,, right in front of my salad?

 **fuckyouhansol** : choke

 _**memesol has set LeeChan’s nickname to dinosaur** _  
_**memesol has set XuMinghao’s nickname to minghoe**_  
_**memesol has set WenJunhui’s name to minghoe’s hoe**_  
_**memesol has set BooSeungkwan’s name to divaboo**_  
_**memesol has set KwonSoonyoung’s name to naegahosh**_

 **daddycoups** : hansol tf are you doing

 **memesol** : the lord’s work,, duh

 **tree** : wait but i thought that was jisoo's job?

 **memesol:** hey mingyu,,, shut up

 **tree:** rude >:((

 **divaboo** : i’m actually trying to study for once you irrelevant tin cans stop blowing up my phone

 **dinosaur:** tin cans????

 **suckmin** : seungkwan you’re literally sitting across from me watching dr phil with korean subtitles??

 **divaboo** : seokmin you fucking snake

 **dinosaur:** how can seokmin be a snake if he's a human???

 **naegahosh** : this chat hasn’t been alive for 5 minutes and we’ve already exposed seungkwan once this has to be a new record right??

 **jisoos christ:** chan is so pure please don't soil his mind you sinners

 _**fuckyouhansol has left the chat** _  
_**memesol has added fuckyouhansol to the chat** _

**fuckyouhansol** : let me live you demon

 **memesol** : nah

 **fuckyouhansol:** i hope you get hit by a truck

 **memesol** : hoping is all well and good, but ultimately, it gets you nowhere. be the change you wish to see in the world. get in your car and run me the fuck down instead of waiting for others to do your work for you, you coward. you lazy fool.

 **naegahosh** : hansol i’d better run jihoon just grabbed his car keys and left our apartment

 **memesol** : fucK

 **divaboo** : lmaoooo rip hansol

 **memesol** : babe wtf

 **suckmin** : wait where is everyone else??

 **suckmin** : also good luck hansol you'll need it

 **minghoe** : some of us have lives y’know

 **minghoe’s hoe** : pfft as if you spent the entire day binge watching haikyuu and crying over daichi’s ‘killer calves’

 **minghoe** : jun i’m fuckin breaking up with you

 **minghoe’s hoe** : haikyuu who?? idk her

 **angel mom** : hello children your mother has arrived

 **dinosaur** : how can you be our mother when you’re a guy??

 **angel mom** : chan how dare you speak to your mother like that tf you're grounded for 6 months

 **dinosaur:**???????

 **memesol** : mOm pls help jihoon is out to get me

 **angel mom** : sucks to be you bb

 **jisoos christ** : you’re the one who told him to run you over what did you expect?? that he'd just ignore such an open invitation to hit you with his car??

 **memesol** : even though i say i want to die a lot i don’t actually want to dIE

 **wonton** : i do

 **divaboo** : wow wonwoo is a whole ass mood

 **daddy coups** : i'm to broke to pay for a funeral sorry hansol

 **memesol** : i fucking hate this family


	2. two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> divaboo: hansol if you ever say spill the tea again i’m going to break up with you for real 
> 
> minghoe’s hoe: you guys have broken up not for real?
> 
> divaboo: yeah like 3 months ago when hansol said ‘ha blaze it’ after seeing that it was 4:20 and then dabbed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I abandoned this fic bc I'm a lazy fucker and have decided to come back to it because it makes me laugh okay enjoy this crack

**Monday, 6:54am. **

 

 **dinosaur** : wow this chat has been dead for like 3 days what has everyone been doing? 

**angel mom** : working

 **jisoos christ** : working x2

 **wonton** : working x3

 **dinosaur** : okay i get it you’ve all been working

 **memesol** : who else wants to die bc they have an 8am class

 **tree** : rt

 **minghoe** : fat rt

 **minghoe’s hoe** : minghao woke me up by throwing his phone across our bedroom bc his alarm went off

 **divaboo** : a whole mood

 **angel mom** : seungcheol doesn’t have classes today but he got up at 6:30 and went and got me a coffee and those mcdonald’s pancakes i love :(((

 **naega hosh** : ohmygOD

 **wonton** : ngl that’s cute af

 **memesol** : that’s the most domestic thing ever y’all are gross 

**divaboo** : hansol,, tf are you on about you literally left class early once to buy me lunch when i was having a bad day.

 **memesol** : why you gotta expose me like this

 **tree** : shut up hansol we all know you’re a softie who thinks he’s a baddie

 **memesol** : tf is a baddie

 **wonton** : something you’re not 

**memesol** : since when did everyday become bully hansol day in this friendship group???

 **fuckyouhansol** : since you made this dumbass groupchat

 **memesol** : alright then,,, guess i’ll just throw myself off of a building

 **divaboo** : babe no pls

 

**Monday, 4:38pm. **

 

 **angel mom** : i fucking hate working drive through i’m going to stab myself with a straw

 **daddy coups** : how about you don’t do that and just tell us what’s wrong

 **memesol** : oooo spill the tea

 **divaboo** : hansol if you ever say spill the tea again i’m going to break up with you for real

 **minghoe’s hoe** : you guys have broken up not for real?

 **divaboo** : yeah like 3 months ago when hansol said ‘ha blaze it’ after seeing that it was 4:20 and then dabbed

 **jisoos christ** : i just briefly considered disowning hansol

 **daddy coups** : i’m still considering it

 **memesol** : i hate you all so much

 **angel mom** : bitches,, can we discuss disowning hansol some other time i have a fucking story to tell

 **suckmin** : did you just call us bitches?? why am i lowkey offended

 **naegahosh** : why am i highkey offended

 **daddy coups** : kids shut tf up and let your mother speak

 **angel mom** : okay so,, this bitchass woman pulled up to the window to pay after ordering a no foam non fat vegan latte or some shit right? and instead of greeting me straight away she was talking to some bitch named debra on the phone which is all well and good,, but then when i told her how much it was she put her hand up to me and said ‘can’t you see i’m on the phone? 

**angel mom** : like oH I’M SO SORRY I PULLED MY COFFEE SHOP UP TO YOUR CAR WINDOW LET ME JUST WHEEL IT AWAY ONE SEC

 **divaboo** : agdygfkjdsifhds omfg

 **mighoe’s hoe** : i just laughed out loud on the bus and now everyone on here thinks i’m a psychopath

 **fuckyouhansol** : did you toss that hoe’s drink back in her face?

 **memesol** : did jihoon just call someone a hoe or am i dreaming

 **angel mom** : i wanted too so badly but also i kind of need this job to support my 10 kids,, so i just aggressively cleared my throat and ‘accidentally’ spilt a bit of her coffee whilst handing it to her

 **minghoe** : and the award for not slapping a bitch goes to yoon jeonghan,,, you have more patience than all of us combined. 

**tree** : yeah we all would’ve been fired so damn quick

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a dumb crack fic that I will be updating regularly bc it's easy to write


End file.
